For well over thirty years, clients — especially those planning or new in their marriages — have asked me whether their accounts & properties should be joint or individual. My advice always depended upon what I learned from a rather invasive personal discussion. Sure, the government dictates that Qualified savings and IRAs be individual rather than joint. Sure, some items require special treatment to avoid inadvertent disinheritance of heirs, especially children of widows or widowers. Sure, joint ownership with adult children is convenient (but can result in disinheritances). The answer depends upon the couple asking this question and the reason for a contemplated exclusive ownership form, so this discussion is focused upon first-time marriages.
To answer this question for newlyweds, especially, one must dig very, very deep into the human relationship to answer this. If one spouse is attached to what that spouse earns and owns, a joint account for routine bills works, but only that will work as joint. Suppose further that the couple is not committed to traditional values, or only one spouse is: That one factor reduces their probability of staying together and fully trusting each other’s access. (Stats and experience are on my side here; don’t ‘beef at me over this!) Such people see their marriage as not a total giving; they have expectations about fair and equal contribution that may not be satisfied unless they keep certain assets sequestered. To what are we attached at the deepest level? The success of a family — whatever that requires — or what we individually get out of the relationship? My book, The Secrets of Successful Financial Planning, has more detail and an eye-popping true tale of a couple who almost divorced over this very issue. So, at the risk of seeming too promotive, I do recommend reading at least that section.
My wife, Laura’s and my accounts and property ownership forms have been joint wherever possible from the beginning. I do recommend this commitment, that “the two become one” to all who can get to that deep in the heart and in self-definition: For, though Laura and I have had a tiff or two over our thirty years of marriage, “who owns what” never once became a source of contention or conflict. I wish the same to all for whom this is possible. Besides, it’s convenient to have a spouse who can handle finances without having to waive a Power of Attorney at a banker or broker. So, the answer to the question is not a financial answer at all.
